ugly people sure do ruin things
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize