Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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