so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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