my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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