I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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