This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
