new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
