OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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