My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
