yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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