i barfeds in our rink
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
