DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
