You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
