you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
