Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels