It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah