btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
In America we eat man semen.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.