TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.