girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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