Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?