he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
