you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
