Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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