He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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