Sry I called you an 8
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm getting married
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.