have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
