Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?