he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
