I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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