Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
