He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
