fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
