She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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