I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
