She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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