i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
