Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
