I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
