White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
