Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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