I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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