so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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