drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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