Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Couch. On fire.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
