I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
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she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
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so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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