I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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