Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
