I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
