We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
