I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
