I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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