So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
