She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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