bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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