i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
