Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize