Got a toothbrush?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
