I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
