Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
