i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This baby is an asshole
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
