when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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