I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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