He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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