Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
