i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
