I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My vagina is officially offended.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
