I looked at my own cervix.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
